We have had a busy start to the term this week. During our Literacy learning, we have been focusing on the theme of ANZACs and ANZAC day. This is because ANZAC day was acknowledged during the second week of the school holidays.
For creative writing, we described what we thought it would have been like in a Trench and wrote home to describe this experience using our senses. To help get a better understanding we read two picture books, Jim's Letters by Glyn Harper and The ANZAC Puppy by Peter Millet and Trish Bowles. The illustrations in these books helped us to learn and plan what we would include in our writing.
Using our plan, we then created a piece of writing, focusing on using simple and compound sentences to describe what we saw and what was happening. Here are two examples of writing below,
Daiki's writing:
Dear Mum and Dad,
How are you both feeling? Here in the trench it is not going well! It is not good for children to stay here. I am feeling sad because bandage around my friends bodies. Now we are going to get our guns out. On the top of the hill I can hear the gunshots coming close to me and I can also hear the Bullets going into the water or sea. I Could smell the blood from the people that died in the war. I can feel the pain in the injury that I have and I can also feel the dust going into my eyes. I miss home because we don't have time to have showers. I can’t sleep that well because of the explosion of the bombs. BOOM! CRASH! BAM! I wish that I could be at home right now. My clothes and socks smell like the sewer YUCK!. MY tummy is saying I want to have a Barbecue.
I hope you guys are having fun.
TJ's writing:
Dear family
How are you all? The trench is not a safe place for the children. We are feeling sad because people are getting shot, even some of my friends. When I run through the water, I can hear lots of splashes. The gunshots and bombs smells like smoke. My dirty stinky clothes feel gross .I can see rain dropping. I am worried because I hope the children won't do this when they are my age .I am scared because I think I'm going to be dead. I am afraid because we're getting less soldiers. I'm looking forward to getting home I can't wait to taste mums best biscuits. And I can't wait to play with the children.
From TJ
We hope to use our creation skills to publish these on a postcard too. Please feel free to leave some postiive, thoughtful and helpful comments.
Hi Kaiwhare, my name is Aahana and I am a student from Te Waka Ako at Waikowhai Primary School. I really like how Daiki used a lot of sounds and made it feel like I was in the trench, and I liked how TJ used some emotion in his writing. Next time when you write a letter Daiki make sure to end it off with " From Aahana " or your name. Other then that I really liked your writing.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to check out my blog here is the link
http://wpsaahanam.blogspot.com/
Bye
Kia Ora. Its awesome to see your creative writing. Its also cool to see your writing about Anzac day - awesome work keep it up. Maybe next time, you could include some photographs of you working.
ReplyDeleteKia Ora, my name is Grace and I am a student from Te Waka Ako at Waikowhai Primary School. I really interested in Daiki's writing and Tj's writing. Daiki has used a lot of information and a lot of sounds in his writng. Tj has used a lot of emotion sentences in his writing it made me feel happy.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like to check my blog here is the link.
http://wpsgraceh.blogspot.com/
bye
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ReplyDeleteI loved the stories but there was a lot of I's in the story. Could you maybe put different words instead of I in it.from Tyler
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